Good Morning

...

I hear a bird at the window. There is light, and it is cool and friendly on my eyelids. My arm is wedged under me and my support--it's half-asleep, and that bothers me. My eyes open. I see stark contrast: white wall above, sliced by a clean arc of black-clothed breast. The other breast of that pair is pressing past my chin, and I marvel at this new experience, of waking up a lesbian... or whatever I am now. My arm nags at me but now my brain is recognizing that this is my lover supporting me, and the glow of being with her rises anew, superseding other concerns. Now, though, I'm awake enough to worry a bit as I nuzzle my cheek into Geena's boob, as I worm my upper arm further up between her shirt and her warm, bare side. What will become of this? Will she and I go out together? Will I want to hold her hand, to kiss her like I would a boyfriend, with other people watching? Will she want people to know we are a couple? Are we a couple? And--oh god I actually forgot for a moment--why, why, why does she have a penis? Each question dispels another portion of my languor and soon enough I am wiggling to reclaim my arms, hitching myself upward.

"Geena," I whisper to my roommate. "Geena wake up." I really need to talk to her. She doesn't move though. I think about tickling her but that would be mean. "Geeena." I mean to be serious, to let out my anxiety, but her face is so cute that I smile, even though her expression is basically neutral. Oh boy I'm turning goofy--I'm acting the way I do when I have a crush on somebody. "Geeeeeeeeena," I sing. I lay my head next to hers and breathe it into her ear. "Geeeeeeeeeeee, naaaaaa." Ahh it's fun to have a lover. But behind that I'm antsy, I need to know what I've gotten myself into. Love can be dangerous too and I haven't done it enough not to be afraid right now.

Geena shifts a bit but she still doesn't wake. I reach up without thinking and touch her face, exploring with my fingers what I had thought to be familiar as I wonder about the possibilities. Did she used to be a boy? She is big but not masculine; she passes easily amongst the women of our floor. Or did she change into a boy! But could a man-made penis be so much like an ordinary one? I have no idea. Maybe she was just born this way...